Story by Linda DonahueSasha is, by all appearances, the stereotypical Parisienne. She’s long, lean and effortlessly stylish. She’s also beautiful, married to a handsome Frenchman and the mother to an adorable little boy. In fact, Sasha is exactly the type of woman most American women would quietly (but never openly) resent, because she just seems to have it all.
And while she may very well seem to have it all, Sasha has never been able to savor the things that most of us American women admire about our French counterparts. I learned this when I met her for lunch one Saturday afternoon near her apartment in the 7th arrondissement. That’s when I realized that Sasha had an eating disorder, something she almost proudly admitted to while picking at her salade Niçoise.
“I follow a very strict regime,” Sasha shared before detailing the various measures she takes to maintain her figure. She has, for instance, all but eliminated bread from her diet, ends each meal with an espresso (for its diuretic properties), and smokes a cigarette whenever she begins to feel hungry. Her mother passed on these tricks to her, and save for the occasional piece of watery fruit or yogurt (another diuretic) while she was pregnant with her son, Sasha has never snacked between meals. Never.
What’s most shocking to me is that Sasha isn’t the only Parisienne to have told me that she maintains her figure by employing some unhealthy methods. After hearing so much about how French women maintain their figures through moderation, it was rather surprising to also realize that many supplement moderate diets with unhealthy habits.
But the simple truth is that, in any culture where fashion designers and the media portray the “ideal woman” as a long-legged figure with 15% body fat, there will always be plenty of women who respond by less than healthy means.
Jennifer, a former New Yorker, moved to Paris eight years ago to study art history and never left. The gallery manager married her French husband Didier two years ago, and while she has effortlessly adopted the elegant Parisienne style, Jennifer proudly holds on to her American-ness, particularly when it comes to food.
“It’s definitely about moderation with me,” she admits, “but I always temper the moderation with a daily treat.” Adding that she couldn’t imagine passing up on the rich delights displayed in the patisseries that line the streets of Paris, Jennifer says, “I call it feeding my curves, and my husband likes my curves.”
Didier does, in fact, like her curves, but goes a step further in saying that one of the things he loves about his wife is that she’s an American woman. “My wife has an exuberance and openness that’s not typically found in French women, and I like that.”
A Frenchman who likes American curves … now that sounds like a perfect match.
*All names have been changed to protect the innocent (and even the guilty).
I did a lot of research about this actually in my grad program. I was focusing more on the food paradoxes that exist in the US and France, the link between food and identity formation and the mediation of food for eating disorder sufferers (in both countries). Since then, this issue in varying forms has been the subject of some blog entries because it is endlessly frustrating for women yet they must realize that Parisian eating habits (I’ll stick with Parisians) are far from healthy. While eating disorders are prevalent in the media in the US, it seems to be a tacit, “accepted” behavior here.
When I first moved here I would walk down the street with my husband and ask him “did you see how sickly she looked? she looked as though she was about to break!” and he never would have noticed. This kind of nonchalance and indifference to a serious disorder is shocking and at the same underscores the myth of Parisian beauty. It’s manufactured, self-created, and unhealthy.
Linda,
Very interesting! I have never entertained the thought that French women went to the same dangerous means that is rampant in America. I’ll confess I’ve felt a little out of place in Paris and often wished I’d walked a little more and had a little more self control before I came! Eating healthier and in moderation is what we all should be doing, but these young women going to extremes, oh it’s very disturbing. The media has created a woman that most of us will never be. Had sad we can’t be more comfortable in our own bodies!! Thanks for this article.
V
I am in total agreement with the comments so far! This is a very enlightening article. It explains, too, how women who are surrounded by such bounty when it comes to culinary fare stay so very thin. Often, apparently, they do not observe the healthiest means of doing so.
I hope, though, that perhaps with the growth in popularity of Bio (organic) stores, green living in Paris, and more awareness of what it means to really be healthy when it comes to diet and lifestyle, perhaps some Parisian women will turn to healthier means of maintaining their figures. Actually, I hope this will become true for all women. Here’s to some *healthy* curves!
I’m sure *Sasha* felt added pressure to stay thin after having her adorable little boy. Here in Italy the pressure is just as high on women to keep their figures, even higher on those who have had children. The funny thing is that women are more admired for keeping their figures after having children than keeping their jobs!!
It’s inaccurate to extrapolate an opinion based on one example and using that as a negative generalization of femininculture in France.
I think america has it backwards, men and women generally dress and take pride in their apperance very poorly and this trend continues on negatively as they get older. It’s very rare to see attractive older men or women as they tend to be obese and take care poor care of themselves. I see european women are beautiful, their slender bodies, black hair and grace. Beauty is not skin-deep like it is here, where attractiveness is gauged how shortly american girls wear their skirts and flaunt their features. In other words the standard of beauty is to be “hot”.
I see european women and I’m filled with wonder, they’re not afraid to express they’re beauty. Their manners, fashion and apperance is not sultry or expositive but simply beautiful.
Another thing I noticed in america there is a large divide between intellectual/cultural women versus american bellas. Here it is somewhat frownded upon to be cultured and intelligent beyond personal success in men and women. Women who fit this category are often liberal, geeky or otherwise eccentric. You either chose to accept or reject and there is no middle-ground. Women in europe regardless of their beauty do not face this problem. It is amazing I can meet a french girl and not only can she be une belle but with an amazing mind and cultured sense of the world.
Anyways This is my opinion and as an American who has lived here his entire life.